I can’t keep in mind the primary time I met Jon, however that’s as a result of I used to be solely 2 years outdated when my Aunt Carla introduced him residence from the hospital.
What I can keep in mind is that, from a really early age, he at all times felt extra like a brother than a cousin to me.
Jon and I at all times gave the impression to be there for one another throughout our highest highs and our lowest lows, our lives woven collectively just like the patchwork quilts of our Appalachian Scots-Irish ancestors.
I used to be the eldest son of the eldest son, and Jon was the primary born son of my father’s sister, who was two years youthful than him, simply as Jon was two years youthful than me.
We each got here into this world below less-than-ideal circumstances. My father was shipped off to Southeast Asia to assist the Vietnam Battle efforts only a few hours after I used to be born, whereas Jon by no means knew his beginning father.
We each wound up residing with our beloved grandparents for some time, creating extremely sturdy bonds with them (and between us) that might in the end final a lifetime and have a profound affect on the boys we turned.
Jon and I have been each sweet-natured, delicate, considerably shy, and foolish as younger boys, maybe because of the female power of spending our infancy surrounded by our moms, aunts, and Granny.
We have been additionally each drawn to Grandad, a bearish mountain of a person with a robust work ethic, a profitable profession, an important knack for storytelling, an infectious giggle, and an affinity for shenanigans we each adored.
Even after our respective dad and mom had moved out, my dad’s 3 siblings and their children would all get collectively at my grandparents’ home for each main vacation– birthdays, Mom’s Day, Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.
Neither Jon or I had siblings for the primary 8-10 years of our lives, so we have been actually like two peas in a pod.
We each wore hand-me-down garments, typically stained with the remnants of our infinite outside adventures, with matching “bowl lower” hairdos given by my grandmother.
As my cousins and I look again on our childhood photographs now– lots of which you’ll be able to see within the slideshow– you notice Granny was CLEARLY incapable of reducing a straight line!
Every time our prolonged household received collectively, Jon and I’d undergo the pleasantries all younger children endure at household gatherings– the pinching of cheeks, the ruffling of hair, the “my the way you’ve grown” commentary.
However inevitably we’d lock eyes, transfer away from the grownups, and say, “Wanna play?” And as soon as we have been launched from our household obligations, we have been like Wild Issues let out!
Jon and I had a traditional boyhood friendship, like Huck Finn & Tom Sawyer or Calvin & Hobbes. I can nonetheless image him as a boy in my thoughts, his eyes vast, his toothy grin, and his blond hair bouncing within the breeze as we ran off in the hunt for our subsequent journey.
We have been each drawn to nature, particularly after Granny & Grandad purchased a trailer on Lake Hartwell for our households to share after I was 5 or 6 years outdated. This was our childhood completely happy place!
With no telephones or video video games to distract us, we spent lengthy summer season days stuffed with swimming, choosing contemporary blackberries, fishing off the dock, leaping into inside tubes and spinning till we have been dizzy, cracking one another as much as the purpose of hysterical laughter, and laying subsequent to the open home windows at night time so the cicadas and tree frogs may serenade us to sleep.
In a dialog a couple of years earlier than Jon died, we talked about these early childhood reminiscences with misty-eyed nostalgia, and Jon advised me that these have been a number of the greatest days of his life. These blissful reminiscences would play an enormous position within the males we in the end turned.
One of many first occasions I keep in mind pondering of Jon as my brother was after he and Carla moved simply across the nook from my dad and mom and I within the mid-Nineteen Seventies.
We attended the identical elementary faculty for some time, and I’d stroll him residence on daily basis, since he was two years youthful than me and wanted to cross a serious street to succeed in his home.
We took a shortcut by way of the yard of a home subsequent to the schoolyard, the place a few teen hooligans ambushed us with pocket knives and demanded our cash.
Jon couldn’t have been greater than 6 or 7 on the time and, as his eyes welled up with tears and fears, I instantly received indignant and screamed at them to go away us alone. Over time, that protecting intuition solely grew stronger, as I noticed that Jon regarded as much as me like an older brother.
Although we performed collectively competitively lots of of occasions through the years, taking pictures hoops, enjoying soccer, swinging throughout creeks, taking goal apply at aluminum cans and plates with our BB weapons, and wrestling as younger energetic boys typically do, I can not recall us ever having a serious disagreement.
We at all times supported and inspired one another, and our fraternal bond solely grew stronger over time.
After my grandparents and Jon’s household moved out to the Winder/Auburn space within the early ’80s, residing a half-mile away from one another, my summer season trip time with Jon, Carla, and my grandparents turned a much-needed escape from the troubles I used to be coping with at residence.
Jon’s candy, smiling nature appeared to me like a reflection of his mother’s nurturing love. Once I visited them, Carla typically handled me extra like a son than a nephew, and her deep love for Jon was each evident and galvanizing.
I’ve fond reminiscences of days after I fell and harm myself whereas driving Jon’s minibike, and Carla tended to my wounds. Or she would supply to scrub our hair within the kitchen sink on the finish of a protracted, sweaty summer season day. Perhaps this explains why Jon in the end grew as much as be such a faithful father to his daughter, Blair.
By the point we have been youngsters, Jon and I had our respective struggles with dominant authority figures, with women, with bullies, with feeling like odd geese in our respective social circles.
We nonetheless cherished enjoying outdoor each probability we received, however our conversations turned deeper and extra significant. We talked on the telephone typically, serving to one another by way of clashes with dad and mom (or, in his case, his stepdad), crushes, heartbreaks, and all the standard coming-of-age challenges.
Even in occasions when it felt like we have been on their lonesome in our respective worlds, we at all times had one another. Jon was my greatest good friend and confidant. He was so considerate, thoughtful, empathetic and, in some ways, sensible past his years. At the same time as a child, he at all times appeared to have an “outdated soul,” with Grandad as his #1 male position mannequin.
In early maturity, I used to be in a position to be there for Jon when the connection between him and his stepfather turned too troublesome to bear.
He lived with me throughout a formative time in each our lives, and we turned a lot nearer, being on the core of an ever-growing group of oddballs and outcasts who have been looking for our place and our function on the earth.
Once I wound up homeless at age 19 after a sequence of non-public struggles, Jon was the one member of my household who knew the place I used to be, and he advised his mother about my dire scenario.
Via Jon, Carla reached out and provided me cash to get a room at a boarding home, which gave me a base from which I may get again on my ft and in the end rebuild my complete life. Simply over a 12 months later, I used to be working my manner by way of faculty.
In any case this shared historical past, it ought to come as no shock that Jon was the perfect man at my wedding ceremony in 1991.
He was additionally the primary one who knew in regards to the ever-increasing issues in that marriage. He was one of many first folks to carry my daughter Allie within the hospital after her beginning in 2001. And he was the primary particular person I advised after I determined to file for divorce a couple of years later.
Now in our mid 30s, we poured our hearts out about our respective life struggles in a manner that we hadn’t executed in years, and it was then that Jon advised me for the primary time a couple of lady he’d taken an curiosity in, Elizabeth.
Regardless of being one of many coolest, handsomest, funniest, and kindest males I knew, Jon had solely had a couple of vital relationships at that time in his life. So when he talked about Elizabeth in a manner that made it clear that he wished to be a greater man for her, I knew it was actually severe.
On our manner again residence from the mountains, we stopped off at our household’s outdated property on Lake Hartwell. Our little cove had lengthy since dried up, and the trailer Grandad had purchased 30 years earlier had fallen into disrepair. By this level Grandad had been gone for 7 years, and his loss was an enormous blow to each of us.
Jon and I hugged, and I had tears in my eyes as all the nice and cozy childhood reminiscences washed over me. At that second, feeling scared and overwhelmed by all of the modifications in my life, I genuinely treasured his companionship, his sage recommendation, and the power of our brotherly bond greater than I ever had earlier than.
It pains me somewhat to confess that Jon and I didn’t be in contact as a lot as I’d’ve favored within the years after he requested me to be a groomsman in his 2009 wedding ceremony to Elizabeth.
Our careers took us in several instructions, however each have been impressed by our grandparents.
Like Grandad, Jon cherished working along with his fingers, and began his personal profitable residence reworking enterprise. Impressed by Granny and Grandad’s love of journey, Mary and I launched Inexperienced World Journey and Blue Ridge Mountains Journey Information, visiting 50+ nations around the globe.
Fortunately Carla and Lawayne took up our longstanding household custom of internet hosting vacation gatherings at their home after Granny died in 2009. And each time the Loves received collectively and Jon walked within the room, I nonetheless felt that very same outdated pleasure of attending to spend time with my brother from one other mom.
We might typically speak about our parallel lives as devoted husbands and fathers, about our respective companies, and about our reminiscences of the great outdated days, with frequent bursts of laughter and tomfoolery that jogged my memory of the children we was once.
Our childhood days at Lake Hartwell continued to play a central position in our middle-aged lives.
Mary and I preserve a ship docked at Lake Allatoona, spending 3-4 days every week there when the climate is heat. And Jon and Elizabeth’s household would all collect at their non-public lake close to Dahlonega virtually each weekend, creating magical reminiscences I do know Blair and her cousins will treasure endlessly.
After a life stuffed with many challenges, it was so gratifying for me to see Jon discover his good match in Elizabeth. I had by no means seen him happier than he was along with her, till Blair got here alongside and made his life full. As a doting dad myself, seeing how his smile lit up each time Blair was round crammed my coronary heart with pleasure.
As we watched Jon tackle his 3-year battle with most cancers with power, dignity, and an unimaginable measure of intestinal fortitude that jogged my memory of Grandad, it was troublesome for me, figuring out that this was one journey I couldn’t be a part of him on, regardless of how badly I needed I may very well be his protecting Huge Brother once more.
And although this insidious illness might have crushed him in the long run, I can’t assist however be grateful figuring out that Jon’s spirit is lastly in a position to run free once more.
Free from ache. Free from struggling. Free from fear.
I prefer to think about him with his eyes vast, his toothy grin, and his blond hair bouncing within the breeze, speeding in the direction of Granny and Grandad, and the largest, most stunning lake you ever noticed… –by Bret Love
